Chrissy Teigen wanted John Legend to take pictures of her during the aftermath of her pregnancy loss, “no matter how uncomfortable it was”.
The 34-year-old model and her husband John sadly lost their third child, Jack, earlier this month when he passed away after being delivered at just 20 weeks old, and Chrissy revealed the news in a social media post which featured emotional pictures of the star in a vulnerable state.
And Chrissy has now explained why she wanted her spouse – with whom she has Luna, four, and Miles, two – and her mother to capture pictures of her, as she said she “needed to know of this moment forever”.
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We are shocked and in the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain we’ve never felt before. We were never able to stop the bleeding and give our baby the fluids he needed, despite bags and bags of blood transfusions. It just wasn’t enough. . . We never decide on our babies’ names until the last possible moment after they’re born, just before we leave the hospital. But we, for some reason, had started to call this little guy in my belly Jack. So he will always be Jack to us. Jack worked so hard to be a part of our little family, and he will be, forever. . . To our Jack – I’m so sorry that the first few moments of your life were met with so many complications, that we couldn’t give you the home you needed to survive. We will always love you. . . Thank you to everyone who has been sending us positive energy, thoughts and prayers. We feel all of your love and truly appreciate you. . . We are so grateful for the life we have, for our wonderful babies Luna and Miles, for all the amazing things we’ve been able to experience. But everyday can’t be full of sunshine. On this darkest of days, we will grieve, we will cry our eyes out. But we will hug and love each other harder and get through it.
Writing in an essay for Medium, she said: “I had asked my mom and John to take pictures, no matter how uncomfortable it was. I explained to a very hesitant John that I needed them, and that I did not want to have to ever ask. That he just had to do it.
“He hated it. I could tell. It didn’t make sense to him at the time. But I knew I needed to know of this moment forever, the same way I needed to remember us kissing at the end of the aisle, the same way I needed to remember our tears of joy after Luna and Miles. And I absolutely knew I needed to share this story.”
The ‘Lip Sync Battle’ star received criticism for posting the pictures on social media, but has said she doesn’t “care” what other people think about her actions.
She added: “I cannot express how little I care that you hate the photos. How little I care that it’s something you wouldn’t have done. I lived it, I chose to do it, and more than anything, these photos aren’t for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like. These photos are only for the people who need them. The thoughts of others do not matter to me.”
Chrissy’s essay marks the first time the beauty has opened up about her heartbreaking loss since her social media post.
But the star recently assured fans she is “okay”, as she wrote on Instagram: “We are quiet but we are okay. Love you all so much.”